Dealing with such negatively means you have to have just the opposite in your life-
that of hope, faith and love.
I will be the first one to tell you I want people to have hope, faith and love in their lives. Without these feelings, one is left lifeless and depressed. When living in an unfulfilled life, I ask you: are you in denial?
Recently I asked this question to a client and they said; “Well, it depends on how you define denial?” What do you mean it depends?
Here are the signs you are cheating yourself of happiness through the nasty feelings of denial. If you have ever said these phrases out loud or to yourself, you are officially in a state of denial:
- He will change.
- So maybe it is me and I need to just change?
- I’ll be strong and stick it out.
- If I leave, how will I live?
- I can’t afford it if he/she leaves.
Sound familiar? If so, don’t get depressed as life is a journey and you will have hiccups and speed bumps along the way. Some of those speed bumps will feel like mountains to climb if you don’t know how to navigate the trail. My advice is that I don’t want to see you live in a fantasy world. There will be tough spots ahead and you will question yourself and your family may question your intentions as well.
Please remember that if you remain in a state of denial, nothing will change including your misery and lack of self-worth. Recognizing denial starts with writing down your feelings and fears.
An exercise I have my clients complete is something I wish to share with you and hope you will complete these 2 activities:
- Write a denial letter to yourself: include all the excuses and reasons you must stay in this relationship.
- Write a truth letter to yourself: this is the toughest letter to write. It means you have to see yourself in a different situation because you deserve better.
Once you are done- ask yourself, “Which letter made me feel better about myself?” No matter how you just answered that question, I know you will still be afraid and question yourself on how you will manage to make a change. This is where you will need an unbiased coach, a guide and a professional that has experienced that road ahead of you.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and start a conversation. You’ve lived too long in the shadows, I want to see you shine bright and be strong.
I am here for you.