Self-sabotage comes about from a variety of reasons but winds up as the same end result. When you take part in this debilitating mind game, deep inside you have made a decision to punish yourself for something you did or a feeling you have or even an action you’ve considered taking. Feeling bad about yourself or your current situation only keeps you from achieving that which you deserve, happiness. The word I just mentioned is small but powerful so let me say it again, DESERVE. If you do not feel you are deserving enough of a better set of circumstances than the situation you are currently in, how can you move forward? Well, you can’t.
Think about your own self-talk for a moment. Do you celebrate the good things that happened to you each day or count the negatives and how horrible they made you feel? It’s easy to find the negatives as they surround you every day and every waking moment. And let me share a little insight for you to think about; if you keep the negative thoughts going all day- they continue all night in your dreams.
How do you stop the negative self-sabotage?
Stopping the negative talk means you must face something called self-love. For those that have been entrenched in the negative for so long, self-love is a hard pill to swallow. It means you need to love yourself no matter what goes on. It doesn’t mean you continue to think bad thoughts, take bad actions and then have a quick self pity party to forgive bad actions. It means you take time each day to reflect on the qualities that make you unique. All the quirky qualities, admirable qualities and even the neurotic ones that can set you back if you allow it. It’s truly celebrating what makes you special and unique.
Set yourself up for a good day and celebrate
Whether you work full time or are lucky enough to be retired, set daily goals for yourself. What needs to get accomplished in order for you to feel positive and feel like you have achieved something. It could be as simple as completing the laundry, painting a bathroom, checking off 2 items from a to-do list or calling a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.
For all of you that are dealing with divorce or are currently surviving through a divorce; keep pushing yourself to uncover the little positive thoughts and accomplishments every day. You have to become more aware of your surroundings in order to see the good in you and the people around you.
A divorce coach not only helps people through a divorce but works as a guide to nurture an individual that has been thrown a negative set of circumstances. Can a coach help you get moving? Reach out and get yourself going!